Wednesday, July 30, 2014

I don't want you to be happy

A tack in my heart
I'd rather use it for my bulletin board
but it's stuck

Be happy
that's what i want
but it's not
I'm on fire

I didn't let you in
I'm closed in, under a shed, down under the dark, murky, cold earth,
giving you all of my breath except the one ounce
I need to stay barely alive

I am a person who floats, having given away her soul, I look
outside the window at the trees, write about beauty, focus deeply
on color, strive to erase the dark

I hold up pretty pictures
for you all to see, a small glimpse of me

The tack in my heart grips me -
I imagine it falls out fast like a petal from a flower girl's basket
It does not.

I  stay busy: write about a tea party, a green pasture,
a quote that inspires me, a couple growing beautifully old,
musings about gravity, creation, evolution, scientific discovery,
think about the most delicate and the most rich of things, of colors,
to piece together beautiful sentences
I hope you will like to read

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